CHOO onthis

January 5th, 2012 - a year since I moved to New York! I think its appropriate to do one of those sappy, and ridiculously stupid, trying-too-hard to be deep posts I know I’ll regret reading again in a few years, or a few hours, or a few minutes. Okay - why am I writing this again…?  

Despite the strangest empty feeling I felt when my mom and two big brothers left me in my 11x14 room, I wasn’t too intimidated or nervous about my move to NY. Everyone said that living in New York was tough, but what could be so tough? The first six months went without a hitch, so I was obviously more confident than usual at that point. I did a lot of the must-dos, sees, and eats, and made the most of each day in New York…literally. On a random night out at Soho House my buddy Thanh told me about an epidemic that hits new New Yorkers - what he called the New York City Blues. I couldn’t empathize, and I didn’t think I ever would anyways.

New York is a densely populated city with people dying to meet you - not necessarily because you’re awesome but because everyone here is a transplant and would love a new friend. At the same time, you’re dying to meet those people because, well, you’re a transplant too. Usually what happens, is that you stay acquaintances and its generally hard to develop the same type of relationships you developed while you were at home - relationships with friends that read your mind, finish your sentences etc. Relationships (deep ones) usually take time, and well, not a lot of people have that. Also, because it is a transplant city, the friend you just hit it off with could very well be headed back to their hometown or on their next adventure the next week. As a result, even though there are tons of people around, the city feels strangely lonely.

Everyone in New York is here to find something - a degree, a promotion, a husband, a new adventure, whatever. Everyone is trying to make it and obviously won’t let anything get in the way of that. The non-stop hustle and bustle is one of the best things about New York. The non-stop action is what creates this ridiculous energy that draws sucks people in. The energy you get from wanting and from being around people that are always wanting - its the same energy that people desperately want to get away from because they can’t handle this pace and need to slow down.

I personally think that you hit the New York blues when you’re unable to understand the transient nature of the people here, and when you’re unable to reconcile the push and pull energy.

Not going to lie - even I, Elizabeth Choo, didn’t understand those things and got the blues - full on- if daddy wants to please me, he’s only got to cheese me, blue box blues. I’m 100% sure it was an ugly point in time - questioning my move in the first place, wanting to move back. Alladat. Being involved with with some meaningful organizations, a fun idea/dream, investing my time into some great people and some other interesting happenings reinvigorated me. I could very easily see however, how this city could have very easily consumed me whole.

I’m pretty positive this is partly why those people said living in NY is tough. Even though I still haven’t figured this city out in its entirety, I feel like going through the blues is a part of understanding it. Once you understand (or maybe just have an understanding with) the city, you stay. For a long time. Wait - is that why people say they’re going to be in New York for 1 year and end up staying for 3,5,6,12 years? I guess I’ll figure that out in a future anniversary post.